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Alexandra
Petri
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Alexandra Petri’s US History
As a columnist for the Washington Post, Alexandra Petri has watched in real time as those who didn’t learn from history have been forced to repeat it. And repeat it. And repeat it. If we repeat history one more time, we’re going to fail! Maybe it’s time for a new textbook.
Alexandra Petri’s US History contains a lost (invented!) history of America. (A history for people disappointed that the only president whose weird sex letters we have is Warren G. Harding.) Petri’s "historical fan fiction" draws on real events and completely absurd fabrications to create a laugh-out-loud, irreverent takedown of our nation’s complicated past.
On Petri’s deranged timeline, John and Abigail Adams try sexting, the March sisters from Little Women are sixty feet tall, and Susan Sontag goes to summer camp. Nearly eighty short, hilarious pieces span centuries of American history and culture. Ayn Rand rewrites The Little Engine That Could. Nikola Tesla’s friends stage an intervention when he falls in love with a pigeon. The characters from Sesame Street invade Normandy. And Mark Twain—who famously said reports of his death had been greatly exaggerated—offers a detailed account of his undeath, in which he becomes a zombie.
Alexandra Petri
As a columnist for the Washington Post, Alexandra Petri has watched in real time as those who didn’t learn from history have been forced to repeat it. And repeat it. And repeat it. If we repeat history one more time, we’re going to fail! Maybe it’s time for a new textbook.
Alexandra Petri’s US History contains a lost (invented!) history of America. (A history for people disappointed that the only president whose weird sex letters we have is Warren G. Harding.) Petri’s "historical fan fiction" draws on real events and completely absurd fabrications to create a laugh-out-loud, irreverent takedown of our nation’s complicated past.
On Petri’s deranged timeline, John and Abigail Adams try sexting, the March sisters from Little Women are sixty feet tall, and Susan Sontag goes to summer camp. Nearly eighty short, hilarious pieces span centuries of American history and culture. Ayn Rand rewrites The Little Engine That Could. Nikola Tesla’s friends stage an intervention when he falls in love with a pigeon. The characters from Sesame Street invade Normandy. And Mark Twain—who famously said reports of his death had been greatly exaggerated—offers a detailed account of his undeath, in which he becomes a zombie.
About the author
Alexandra Petri is a columnist for the Washington Post. Her satire has also appeared in McSweeneys and the New Yorker's Daily Shouts and Murmurs, in other newspapers (hello, Salt Lake Tribune!), on the radio, and on TV.
She has appeared on a number of podcasts, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, and Jeopardy! where she made what was described as the 'worst final Jeopardy! wager of all time.' She recently achieved her lifelong dream of being a talking head in a documentary about Benjamin Harrison.
Benjamin Harrison was the 23rd president. He served between Grover Cleveland and Grover Cleveland. After his wife's death, he married her niece. He did the most!
Unlike Benjamin Harrison, Alexandra was on Rolling Stone's list of The Funniest People Right Now, Forbes 30 Under 30, received the National Press Club's Angele Gingras award for humor writing, was a finalist for the 2022 Thurber Prize, and won a Shorty Award for her parody twitter account. She is also an O. Henry International pun-off champion.
The award show by and for funny people.
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